22.10.05

I was thinking....

while I was listening to one of my favorite Ani Difranco songs "School Night" and it goes like this, yo--

"What of the mother
whose house is in flames
and both of her children
are in their beds crying
and she loves them both
with the whole of her heart
but she knows she can only
carry one at a time?
she's choking on the smoke
of unthinkable choices
she is haunted by the voices
of so many desires
she's bent over from the business
of begging forgiveness
while frantically running around
putting out fires

but then what kind of scale
compares the weight of two beauties
the gravity of duties
or the ground speed of joy?
tell me what kind of gauge
can quantify elation?
what kind of equation
could i possibly employ?"

Well, anyway. No one--including my mother, knows how beautiful my mother is.
If you're reading this, understand that I couldn't ever describe it, but I will say that were it up to me I'd burn up with my Mommy and my sister before I'd watch either of them go.

Wow. some of my lyrics.

"The Ballad of Sissy and Jelly"

The quiet of the fire mingles softly like coffee and cream with the sounds of the holy man on the mountain laughing wisely as time passes by.

She's seen all of the country--cooled her thumbs in the oceans and hitched the stars but there's something pulls her back her like the tides to the scene of our love.

And the Countess in his castle pulls the strings at the ranch of the housewives and whores but the cowgirls take it over--scare the bitches away with the stench of their cores.

Well Dolores says the Goddess wants the women to rule but not with force and the cranes eat the peyote as the government comes to kick down the doors.

You can hypnotize a chicken--20 times round the head and he's yours for life and it t'weren't no silver bullet. it was a rocking horse, or maybe I lied.



"Mica's Song"

I'll always remember the way you cried in the bathroom cause you looked so unfamiliar when we shaved your hair off. And that night we listened to a candle as it cracked away the seconds in a silence that was comfortable. You always carried an umbrella, said 'It looks like nasty weather, and I don't like feeling helpless.'

and I just wanted you. I just wanted you to know--that I know. That you were the one who made it rain. You were the one who made it rain. And I miss you and I miss you and I miss you...

I gave you my last chance at puppy love and you held it like a baby in your arms--but you told me you didn't have enough for me you'd lost it all a long time ago.

and I just wanted you. I just wanted you to know--that I know that you were the one who made it rain. You were the one who made it rain and I miss you I miss you I miss you...



"Lightswitch"

I hope someone is watching me--if for nothing else just to see for themself the beauty of my symmetry as I rampage through this lifetime. And i may not be anything but a bundle of nerves that exists to compel my finger to turn on a lightswitch.

'Cause I'm sitting in a dark room trying hard to hear something only your eyes can say--and some strange fascination with knowing you wholly incites me to believe I'd hear them if only I turned on a lightswitch.

You see you excite me in ways I can't quantify or contain--but what an elusive lover you have been and remain. Tell me a story that doesn't end with starting over again. And I'll turn on a lightswitch.



"Hangover"

I'll wake up in the morning when the sun sets angry fingers on my eyelids I'm arrested in this moment and I do not know whose room I'm in my mouth will taste like garbage as my head pounds out the backbeat of the song that made you love me when I sang to you so honestly.

And I will promise to the mirror that I'm not the thing I'm looking at I am so much more beautiful I'm so much more intact- and the contours of her body in the bedsprings will recede as I figure out the difference between what I want and what I need.

and hey, bartender whatcha got back there that's stronger than my memory 'cause I remember someone being in love with me.

My eyes are still adjusting to the darkness of her absence as I fumble for my dignity inside this cold reality and promises are little less than pretty words we've lain to rest among the dead and buried of this fickle thing that we call love

i'll wake up in the morning when the sun sets angry fingers on my eyelids--I'm arrested in this moment and I do not know whose room I'm in.



"Body is Liquid"

My body is liquid- my breath is coming out steam. Your hands are cupped beneath me your eyes are burning right through me. Sometimes I'm salty, baby. Sometimes I'm sweet. I think I taste like honey. Maybe I'm candy.

Drink me down. Oh Drink me down.

I think that I'll surrender- I think I'll lay at your feet. You wanted something special, something unique. Sometimes I'm hard to swallow, sometimes I'm easy. I think you want to touch me. Go on and please me.

Drink me down. Oh Drink me down.

My body is liquid. My body is liquid. My body is liquid. My body is liquid...



"Leftover"


So you gave her that mushy pink shit in your chest with fries on the side and she asked you for more. Then she sent it all back in a brown paper bag. Wondering who in the hell she even ordered it for. So now you cry in the dark and act like a fool. Forget about everyone else and believe that she''ll come back to you.

And here I am now begging for scraps of the stuff that she didn't want--tail between my legs I say

'Refuse me. Shit on me. Ignore me. I'll still be in love with you in the morning.'

I remember when I was interesting to you. You sat down in my room and looked at me like I was something. And I caught your eye when you were dancing--told you I wanted you without saying anything.

And here I am now scratching for crumbs of your affection. Honest and brave I say

'Refuse me. Shit on me. Ignore me. I'll still be in love with you in the morning.'



"Great One"

Back through the rusty swinging doors of admiration. Don't you just love it when the fans behave as friends? Guess I should you my heartfelt congratulations but I can't. I used to love the way your voice would touch the ceiling. Sweep all the cobwebs from the corners of the room. I spoke about how you could never forget me but I spoke to soon.

Olga. You forgot to call me on my birthday. You forgot who built you up when you were nothing more than a soundtrack for drinking coffee and writing poetry. Nothing more than a friend to me.

I came to see you as a big star the other day. (blue girls, tough women) You just signed an autograph and walked away. (and the ladies feast on you tonight.) Ain't it funny (You said I would be a great one)how we never ever mean the things we say when we speak to soon? (and you were right)

11.10.05

My uterus hurts.

all work and no play makes mandy a dull girl all work and no play makes mandy a dull girl all work and...

oh...hello. Sometimes I wish I were a crazy person wielding an axe and chasing someone. I wouldn't want to hurt them with the axe--just chase them. Then they'd hit me with something and I would of course jump right back up and start chasing them because that's what villains do. Hopefully while they were running their shirt would catch on a bush and fly off revealing their breasts. At the end when I finally caught them I'd say "Hey, I dont' understand why you're running, I just wanted to give you this!" and hand them a flower or a kitten. Then I'd act like they were nuts for running away from me.

Agree with me or Die!!!!!

It occurred to me today that I'm tired of interests. By that I mean I'm tired of people asking me if I like things in search of a common interest. And I'm tired of being made to feel like I suck because I like/dislike something someone else does or doesn't.

"Do you like Leonardo Dicaprio?"

"No I hate Leonardo Dicaprio"

"But he was so good in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'!"

"I like 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'."

"I hated 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' but I love Leonardo Dicaprio."

"I guess we can't have a conversation then"

"We just did."

What the fuck are we accomplishing? Do you really, truly care if I adore Reba McEntire? (Which I do, in fact, chew on that.) Do I truly care if you like watching paint dry? Yes, I do. But that doesn't mean that I have to like watching paint dry.

If I spent every second of my day trying to have as much in common with someone else as possible--I MAY eventually have 1/1000000th of an iota of a molecule of a fiber of my essence in common with them.

I like the sound of trains when I'm sleeping.

I hate the cold.

I sort of enjoy melba toast~ but not enough to wax ecstatic.

Getting my hair cut makes me happy.

I can't stand it when people touch my face.

I despise bad grammar.

I love having the back of my neck kissed.

I think feet are beautiful.

The smell of potpourri makes me nauseous.

I don't like pumpkin pie.

I love fiction, and hate instruction manuals.

My favorite color is blue next to yellow. I refuse to pick one.

I hate being held down forcibly.

I love being held down playfully.

Celine Dion frustrates me.

I adore films based on redemption.

I despise most films based on sick humor.

I love to amuse myself by miniaturizing words--for instance: monkey

I laugh hardest at things that don't make sense.

I cry hardest at insensitivity.

I would rather die than hear someone talk down to my mothers.

I'm glad I have no religious upbringing.

I'm fascinated by people who have and manage to not suck.

I love the smell of lighter fluid.

I hate talking on the telephone.

I would love to be a cello.

Really I could go on all day but I won't---because if you got the original point, you're probably not even reading this. But if you did--well bless yer heart, honey.

=)

"Who knows how to make love stay?


Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.

Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.

Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning."




~Tom Robbins

Shoot me.

hahahahah

I have 2 jobs and I'm broke.

hahahahaha.

Off to work!

hahahahhahaha

3.9.05

Se7en

Politiko tagged me.

1. Seven things I plan to do before I die

• Write a novel.
• Write/Direct a movie.
• Have a wedding.
• Skydive
• Scuba Dive
• Meet J.M.R (aka Politko)
• Smoke a J with Ani Difranco.


2. Seven things I can do

• Play a mean guitar.
• Hurt your feelings.
• Impersonate Zorak from Space Ghost
• Get in bad moods for no reason.
• Persuade someone to do pretty much anything.
• Show appreciation.
• Roll my eyes in different directions.


3. Seven things I can't do

• Use common sense.
• Impregnate the person I love.
~ Golf. :-)
• Put up with being demeaned in any way.
• Be enclosed in a small space.
• Pretend to love someone.
• Hold a grudge


4. Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex people

• Cleanliness.
~ Manners
• Sensitivity
• Wit
• Facial Hair.
• Fashion sense.
• Potential mini-Henri ingredients.


5. Seven things I say most

• Rock out with your cock out.
~ You're fucking kidding me.
• no, everything's okay.
~ Thank you for calling Blockbuster, this is Henri how can I help you?
• That's fuckin' awesome.
• NO FUCKING WAY!
• Truthfully....


6. Seven celebrity crushes

• Clea Duvall
• Johnny Knoxville
• Jodie Foster
• Ani Difranco
• Kathryn Hepburn
• Milla Jovovich
• Amy Ray


7. Seven People I want to take this quiz

Esteban
Mommy
Angie
God
Sleepy
Dopey
Happy

15.8.05

dusk Posted by Picasa

dusk Posted by Picasa

dusk Posted by Picasa

dusk Posted by Picasa

5.8.05

Annnnd Finally. (even though it shows up FIRST to you) You should probably scroll down to the beginning of the little test thingies.

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

I may have peed I'm laughing so hard.

To pick up Esteban Pertable: I've just moved you to the top of my to do list.


I always thought so.





Your 80s Theme Song:

Your 80s Theme Song is Rock Me Amadeus by Falco

w00t!

Your Hidden Talent
You are both very knowledgeable and creative.
You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential.
Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them.
As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

Laughin my effin' ass off.

Your IQ Is 90

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average
Your General Knowledge is Average

I'm serious. I love Feedback.

Cheese Pizza

I want to see yours btw! For all of these.


You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

Bored + Bummed = This

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Philosopher.

Where You Lived: Ontario.

How You Died: Hung for treason.

4.8.05

I stole this idea from Politiko because it ROCKS!!!!!!


Type the answers to each of the following into a google image search, and post one of the pictures.


The Age You Will Be on Your Next Birthday:


The Place You Live:


Your Favorite Color:


The Place You Want to Get Married:


Your First Love:


Your Favorite Fruit/Vegetable:


Your Favorite Animal:


Your Pet's Name:


Last Name of Your Favorite Actor:


Your Favorite Song:


Bad Habit of Yours:


Your Middle Name:
Mine is "Big" and consequently this photo is from a Sigur Ros (that's a band that I love) CD insert. Imagine that.

2.8.05

See it or Spend Your Life Wandering in Lust for Brains. Posted by Picasa

File This One Under "Zombie Movies that Make You Cry"

Here we go again.



Shaun of the Dead (Wright & Penn 2004)

I have seen my share of horror movies. Generally they're lacking to the point I want to give up on them...all of them--and never in my life would or could I have expected to see one that would make me feel...well..everything.

"Shaun of the Dead" is remarkable on so many levels, but mostly just this one: This is a movie about ZOMBIES. It has the disgusting gore of your average zombie movie. It has the someone-take-charge-cooperation-for-survival element, and then there's the WOW that's really touching--part of the film. And that's where it got me. Set aside the fact that the film was pretty much hilarious for so many reasons and picture this: This movie made me cry MORE THAN ONCE! I don't know if the creators (Mensa material, they are) intended for me to cry, but GOD damn it I did! I really did. This movie was downright touching.

General Synopsis: Couch potato Everyman proves that to be extraordinary, one simply must step up to the challenges of the world....like killer zombies.

I wish I could say more, but honestly, you just have to see it for yourself. Understand that you WILL like it, or you're pretty much a freak.

if you really MUST know more check out The Official Shaun of the Dead Website Yo!

That said,
I give "Shaun of the Dead" 8 (yup) 8 rawkstars. ********

I don't care who you are, this one's gooooooood.

XOXO

Love,
Henri